Post by Max on Dec 23, 2008 21:13:01 GMT -5
Pride, it's a five letter word that can make or break us. It is what we build up for our accomplishments and our abilities. We are proud of ourselves for being able to do things and accomplishing things and it is our self acknowledgment of these things because sometimes we don't have anyone else to acknowledge them. So we are proud of ourselves.
Pride is also one of the seven deadly sins, I think it's because if we let this small self acknowledgement system out of hand and it becomes an ego, we let it get in the way of things that are truely important. But reguardless, everyone should be able to have a small ammount of pride in themselves.
I for example pride myself in having high thresholds for pain and don't cry easily. But even I have my limits, and I can deal with that. What I can not deal with is people watching me break, people seeing that vulnerablity come out. It makes me feel weak and insignificant. What makes things worse for me is that if someone ever sees me crying, they touch me. A consoling hand on my back, soothing hushings. I hate them. If I don't cry often everyone needs to have an outlet. So this one time I cry, Let me do it in peace.
Don't watch. Don't console me. Let me cry and let me just be alone. Let me be free for just a moment with no barriers and let me express my feelings. Things like this can't stay pent up and let me vent this in salt water tears down my face. Curled in on myself to try and hold myself together. In this small instant I am weak, giving small whimpered noises. Don't try and help me. Let me stand on my own feet. Leave me alone.
Pride is also one of the seven deadly sins, I think it's because if we let this small self acknowledgement system out of hand and it becomes an ego, we let it get in the way of things that are truely important. But reguardless, everyone should be able to have a small ammount of pride in themselves.
I for example pride myself in having high thresholds for pain and don't cry easily. But even I have my limits, and I can deal with that. What I can not deal with is people watching me break, people seeing that vulnerablity come out. It makes me feel weak and insignificant. What makes things worse for me is that if someone ever sees me crying, they touch me. A consoling hand on my back, soothing hushings. I hate them. If I don't cry often everyone needs to have an outlet. So this one time I cry, Let me do it in peace.
Don't watch. Don't console me. Let me cry and let me just be alone. Let me be free for just a moment with no barriers and let me express my feelings. Things like this can't stay pent up and let me vent this in salt water tears down my face. Curled in on myself to try and hold myself together. In this small instant I am weak, giving small whimpered noises. Don't try and help me. Let me stand on my own feet. Leave me alone.
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