Post by kassie on Jan 11, 2009 4:42:06 GMT -5
I'm not sure where I stand..at all....When I think I figured one problem...another arises. I'm lost and confused so baddly. From endless thinking and endless searching I came to the realization that....I really have nothing of value but my personal service...Years and Years i've stood on my own feet, even as a child I stood on my own as a adult when I was 10. At that time I understood why I was on my own. I accepted this taking it possibly more mature then any adult would. I've dealt with my own problems and taken care of them as well. A occasional push or shove saying I should try this or attempt that......Of course I would check out the situation myself and figure if it was right...
As the years go on I continue this path. Doing things on my own and learning my life from Trial and Error..But now I reach a path where......I look back and my life is gone....Nothing there just a empty old road where possibilities could have been....But nothing is there......Now I stand on a island alone.......No supplies to get out...and no skill to swim off.....I'm stuck.....no communication...no nothing....Only myself with no way out....Even the light is gone from my sight having no way of shining on this dark day. I have nowhere to go and people who i'm scared to ask.....Strangers almost......Never really gaining a real relationship with them. As seeing as we can be friends...Hard to even call them "Mom" and "Family"...Near the brink of tears realizing that i'm alone....typing this noticing that...I can't even call my own family real...being so small and lack of communication..it hurts my heart realizing how far we all are...Stuck on life by myself I have no idea where to turn. So will I lie in solitude or can I find a way out. Or can I find someone who I can reach out to....and pray I can get help...or will my life end here......
I'm so lost, I just don't know where to go anymore. I baddly want to go into a corner and cry but Its hard enough to do that....I've tried working through kinks and its only the beginning so i'm still going but....It just hurts so bad.....that i'm nearly alone with no way to figure this out...Who knew there was more then one way to a broken heart....
As the years go on I continue this path. Doing things on my own and learning my life from Trial and Error..But now I reach a path where......I look back and my life is gone....Nothing there just a empty old road where possibilities could have been....But nothing is there......Now I stand on a island alone.......No supplies to get out...and no skill to swim off.....I'm stuck.....no communication...no nothing....Only myself with no way out....Even the light is gone from my sight having no way of shining on this dark day. I have nowhere to go and people who i'm scared to ask.....Strangers almost......Never really gaining a real relationship with them. As seeing as we can be friends...Hard to even call them "Mom" and "Family"...Near the brink of tears realizing that i'm alone....typing this noticing that...I can't even call my own family real...being so small and lack of communication..it hurts my heart realizing how far we all are...Stuck on life by myself I have no idea where to turn. So will I lie in solitude or can I find a way out. Or can I find someone who I can reach out to....and pray I can get help...or will my life end here......
I'm so lost, I just don't know where to go anymore. I baddly want to go into a corner and cry but Its hard enough to do that....I've tried working through kinks and its only the beginning so i'm still going but....It just hurts so bad.....that i'm nearly alone with no way to figure this out...Who knew there was more then one way to a broken heart....